Kagefumi (26/29)

[dani_mathoz]

Title: Kagefumi
Author: Fabi  & Dani (dani_mathoz)
Translator: br_arashi Thank you ♥
Pairing: Ohmiya (main), Aiba x ? (mentioned)
Genre: Romance and Angst
Rating: NC-17
Summary: 'Two lonely and suffered hearts look in the shadows of an agitated city, the light that can free them from the darkness in which they live'

Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly ;-;

Just a reminder, English is not our first language please be kind ♥

CHAPTER 26

Happiness is always there for you to grab
With your chest inflated you will be able to say
“This is my greatest happiness”
My raising dreams are flying up in the sky
I will not forget this voice
Even if I can’t see them
Hoping they won’t vanish, hoping for them to shine
Stay with me

Tabidachi no Asa

Ohno Satoshi sighed before resting his forehead on the wheel, pouting. He was tired and feeling stupid for his ridiculous behavior. It had been two weeks since he started driving to Aiba’s building whenever he had a day off or had finished his work. He stayed there, inside his car, parked in the other side of the street, observing the window of his friend’s apartment, once in a while turning his attention to the building’s door.

Just once, since Nino had moved there, he had managed to see him. It was an early afternoon when he and Aiba had left the building. He was smiling to the orthopedist and he seemed calm. He was walking with the support of the crutches, slow and carefully, but on his own. He rarely needed to be assisted by their friend, who followed him in the same slow rhythm.

He left the car, shivering, his unrestricted emotions vibrating through every cell of his body, burning with the desire to run to him, hold him and take the tasty mouth on a longing kiss. However, all he was able do was to follow him at a distance until a nearby konbini and watch him through the glass picking up from the shelves his favorite juice and the melon pan he fancied so much…

He had promised he would wait for him, after all.

Not in the first time that Sho told him about his request. That time, he was annoyed, actually, more like impatient. He had already abdicated from being beside him during the treatment. Even demanding from the psychologist an almost daily report on his progress, he was unable to see him leaving the wheelchair, he couldn’t follow the development of his state and he wasn’t present nor even at one of the visiting days or in a family therapy session. Why did he have to keep on waiting? He had been willing to wait until his discharge day, outside of the clinic, and take him straight home. However, he knew he couldn’t force him. He had already waited so much…

He could be a little more patient. Besides, he had made no promises regarding following him from afar.

It was childish, he knew it, but he was desperately missing him.

It was four in the afternoon that day, when he decided to drive to Aiba’s apartment for another stalking session. Nino didn’t show up though.

He didn’t even come to the window to watch the scenery, the way he used to do, occasionally.

Sighing, he turned on the car.

He promised, just like the day before, that this would be his last time there. When Nino was ready, he would go after him, just as he had promised.

He just hoped it wouldn't take long.

Exhausted, he decided not to go back to work. He went to a konbini and bought a bento for dinner and a few cans of beer. He was planning to sit on his couch, drink for a bit and listen to Raiden’s new album, which the guitar player had given him the day before.

He inserted the key in the hole, but the door, strangely, wasn't locked. He tried to force his memory, trying to remember if he had checked the lock before leaving for work, but was unable to do so.

Then, he turned the door handle and entered.

The sound of his plastic bag falling on the floor was covered by a sobbing sound. His heart raced when he saw Nino hugging Niji at the couch.

— Nino!

The young man turned his head towards him.

— Oh-chan...

Oh! How to describe the feeling of hearing his nickname being called by the man he loved so much once again?

He wanted to run to him, but, curiously, his steps were slow and careful. He kneeled in front of Kazunari, his eyes teary. Softly, with the tip of his fingers, he wiped the tears soiling his beautiful face before guiding them to the dark and short hair.

— You have stopped dying your hair — he commented. He had already seen him with the new dark hair while observing him from afar.

— You told me you wanted to see me with my natural color — he answered, shaken.

— You are beautiful — the cop smiled, affectionately.

— You have cut yours, as well... — the younger one mimicked his gesture, taking his hands to the sides of his hair and playing with the soft hair locks. — I li-...

His sentence was cut by a sudden hug, strong and suffocating.

— I have missed you so much — Satoshi whispered, tightening his embrace around him. — I couldn’t wait anymore, Nino...

— I’m so sorry, but I needed this... — he disentangled from his arms and stared at the older man. — I needed this time away from you. It was hard, I won’t deny it. If it wasn’t for that, though, I… I would not bear. I wouldn’t be able to overcome my fears, my insecurities and my limitations if you were there to watch me fail… And I failed so many times…

— You didn’t have to go through all this alone. I would have loved to help you up, no matter how many times you fell. I know you wanted to protect me from frustrations, but…

Nino shook his head, in a denial.

— You will never understand it — he interrupted him. — Believe me; it would be so much easier to have your support in all the times I couldn’t progress in my physiotherapy sessions or in the nights when my body was revolving in pain and agony because of my abstinence. Nonetheless, it was a battle I needed to fight on my own, even if you had been with me all the time… your smell, your taste, your body had always been impregnated in me as a mark burned with hot iron in my skin…

Nino touched the face of the man he loved with the back of his hand and Satoshi closed his eyes, trying to intensify the sensation.

— Before we met, and even afterwards, I have degraded myself so much, Oh-chan… I treated myself and let people treat me as scum for so long… I thought it would never come a day when I could leave all that behind. You triggered in me the wish to change once again, just like your father had done before… — he put Niji back on the floor and held Satoshi hands in his. — In the moment I woke up in the hospital, when I realized there was a possibility that I would never walk again, I realized that, no matter how important you were in my life, I shouldn’t want to overcome my problems for you. I should do it for myself, for wanting and needing to let that shadowed life behind to start a healthy and confident one. Can you understand me?

Satoshi nodded, sympathetic. For the first time realizing Nino’s reason not to want his presence during the treatment. It wasn’t just because he didn’t want him to see him fail, but because he wanted to be his own reason for his rehabilitation.

— You have made it! You are walking again and you were discharged from rehab...

Nino lowered his head.

— I don’t know if it’s enough, though.

— What do you mean? — Satoshi asked, apprehensive. He didn’t like the evasive tone of his boyfriend, if he could still call him that.

— I don’t know if I’m ready to restart my life beside you.

The cop freed himself from Nino’s hands and stood up, walking to the window.

— And when will you be? — he asked him, impatient, after a pause. — I have waited for seven months, Nino. Ten, if you count the time you’ve left me to live with Miura.

Nino bit his lips, guilty and embarrassed. As he had expected, certain things would never be forgotten.

— How much longer do you think I can wait? — Satoshi asked, contradicting his promise to wait for as long as he needed. — When will you be ready to accept that you deserve to be happy?

— Maybe I never will — he answered with honesty.

Satoshi sighed, annoyed. He opened the window in search for air and closed his eyes, trying to control his emotions. He didn’t want to say anything he could regret later, but he was tired of that. Although he knew he should be patient in what regarded Nino, he was enraged that all that waiting time ended up being for nothing. He understood the other man had been through a difficult process, but he wasn’t the only one who was suffering.

He also had to overcome his trauma for his father’s death, the agony of being unable to prevent his boyfriend from sacrificing himself for him and the guilt for Nino receiving the shot that had been destined to him.

He also had been stuck in the middle of a turmoil of fears and insecurities. However, it would be much easier if they tried to overcome all this together.

He was ready to turn around and give the lad an ultimatum when he felt Nino’s arms encircling his waist and his chin resting on his shoulder.

— I might never be ready — he repeated. — But, after all, who is? — he concluded, with a thrilled voice and Satoshi realized he was crying.

— There is no miracle recipe to face the day-by-day. No one knows what lies ahead, what kind of temptations one will have to face or what kind of decisions one will have to make… I would be lying if I told you I’m not afraid, Oh-chan, but I’ve learned that I have to live a day at once. And it will be infinitely better if I can do it beside the man I love.

He turned around to face Nino and noticed he hasn't used his crutches to walk towards him.

— You will need to be more specific, Nino. I can’t understand what you are trying to tell me with such contradicting statements...

— I mean that, no matter how much I want to spare you from my problems, how better I believe you are going to live without me… I can’t neither I want to exclude you from my life — he rested his forehead against his and searched for his hands, entwining their fingers. — It took me too long to find you, Satoshi. We should have met five years ago, according to your father’s will... Destiny, however, made us meet later.
It can’t be just a coincidence, right? We cannot ignore the signs…

— We cannot.

— I can’t promise you we will live happily ever after, like in a fairy tale, but, as the lyrics of that music that was playing when we met — he guided his hands to the pockets of the thin blouse he was wearing — “let me hold your two hands inside the pockets of my sweater”? *

— If I had to be really honest, — Satoshi answered, his teary eyes locked into Nino’s ones — right now, I would rather hold your hands without this sweater… preferably, without any piece of clothes...

The former blonde-haired lad smiled.

— So, what are you waiting for to drag me to the bedroom and do it?

He didn’t have to be asked twice.

Differently from their first time, they have made love slow and softly in an almost embarrassing way. It was as if they weren’t not only bare of their clothes, but also from any kind of shame. They explored each other’s bodies, as they have never done before, as if trying to mark each part of their bodies, try to taste the most of their skins, the taste of their saliva, the tears, the sweat, each and every secretion of pleasure they could extract from each other.

There was no rush.

There was no need of making promises.

A day at once…

Much later, exhausted and sleepy, they have sealed their silent pact through the shadows of their entangled and satisfied bodies, overlapping each other's perfectly as if they were just one.

***************************************

Aiba left his car and waited for Jun to do the same so they would enter the restaurant together.

As soon as they announced themselves, a host, wearing a kimono, guided them to a reserved room. Nino and Ohno were already there, sat side by side as the inseparable couple they had become since they have resumed their relationship, around three months before.

— Have you been waiting long?

— We arrived around ten minutes ago — answered Satoshi, picking up a sake bottle and filling two empty cups. — Nino told me that Cosmos is planning a tour around the Americas — he addressed Jun. — We should toast to that.

The musician smiled, picking up the cups and handing one to his boyfriend after they accommodated themselves at the table.

— It was a surprise when our manager told us we had fans there, especially in South America.

— Good music is appreciated everywhere, Jun-chan — Masaki said, proudly.

— Yes, much more now that we have a special collaborator — he pointed at Nino.

The composer smiled, happy and grateful. One of his songs, recorded by Raiden’s band, had been chosen as the theme of a dorama and, two weeks ago, had been released as a single, already among the top songs of the national ranking.

— Thank you, Jay. Nothing of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you.

— I did what I had to do. I couldn’t allow a talent as yours to stay hidden. My next step is to convince you to sing your own songs.

— I have already told him the same thing a thousand times, but my handsome boyfriend doesn’t believe when I say he has an amazing voice… — Satoshi took one of Nino’s hands in his and kissed it.

— That is just because you haven’t heard Oh-chan singing. His voice is incredible!

— I just follow the melodies I enjoy. The professional one here is you, my love — he pecked Nino’s lips.

— That’s true. Nino is ready to debut as a singer — Jun nodded. — Actually, we even made a test in the studio.

— Really? You didn’t tell me about this... — Satoshi stared at him, intrigued.

— It was supposed to be a surprise — Nino smile.

— Happy birthday, Ohno-kun! — Aiba handed him a small box.

The cop picked up the package and observed it attentively, wondering what that could be. Unable to restrain his curiosity, he opened it to see an IPod.

— You guys made a song for me?

— Not us, Nino did. I just assisted him at the studio. That was indeed the reason for my delay: the staff was finishing the mastering — Jun clarified him.

Satoshi looked at his boyfriend, enthralled.

He searched for the file and smiled when he read the name: Niji.

As soon as he pressed the Play button, the sound of a piano reverberated through the place.

— Piano? Since when do you...?

— Cosmos’ keyboard player taught me how to play it. I thought the lyrics would sound better in the piano than in the guitar… I tried to tell a little of our story, since the moment we met. I hope you like it.

As if it could have been different.

He had already listened to Nino singing while he was composing and even when he was playing the guitar as a hobby. He always believed his voice was beautiful; but there, maybe due to the production and the emotion on his voice, it sounded even better. Almost professional.

It’s always like this
When you are annoyed
You go and hide from me what I treasure the most
And because you always hide in the same place
Today I am going to wait for you there
The seasons bring along the setting son
And the shadows stretch out to catch me
You stare at me with a surprised face
Then quickly pout and look away
Then I say "I’m sorry"
And "Well, come here"
"Hey, look!
Our shadows overlapped"

I can walk straight for our umbrellas are hitting each other
This makes you laugh at me
So I also do what you have showed me
The same pout you have made
You are smiling so kindly
This time, this moment
It makes me wanna cry
It’s the most important thing to me
So you deliberately look at me sharply
And without waiting for my response to your "I’m sorry?"

You kissed me gently
So, from now on,
It’s all right for you to say things that are a little selfish
But, please, only to me
"It’s so complicated," I say
Because you are not being honest with me
Why can’t you just say the words
"I love you"?
I would like to hear it once in a while
Today is the day when we
The day we will extend our surnames
The day our love will start to blossom


La... La... La
“The rainbow is beautiful”
“No, you are more.”
For you who is shying away
“Thank you, thank you.” **

For a few moments, Satoshi was unable to say anything. There was not a word that could express what he was feeling at the moment, after hearing all that.

— It is... it is beautiful, Nino. I... wow! Thank you...

— Happy birthday, Oh-chan! — said the composer, pulling his boyfriend for a kiss.

— Thank you! — the birthday-boy said to his friends.

— Why are you crying, Nii-chan? What have I lost? — Sho asked, as soon as entered the room.

— You have to listen to the music that Nino composed to me. What took you so long?

— I’m sorry I’m late — he said. — I was finishing some reports. I need to leave everything ready before the departure.

— What departure? — Masaki asked, more than curious.

— Sho-chan was accepted in a Master Course at London. He will be moving there in two weeks — Nino answered.

— Congratulations, Sakurai-kun! — Jun said. — Will you stay there for long?

— Two years, at first — he answered, as soon as he sat beside his best friend. — But maybe, if I manage to get a position in the Psychology team of the University, I may probably make a life for me there…

— You cannot go! — Masaki’s voice echoed in the room, loud and quite desperate.


* Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood
** Niji – Ninomiya Kazunari



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Notes: Here we are, finally arrinving the final chapters… Our beloved Ohmiya finally did solve their problems, even tho as Nino said they never will be ready but they need to start again  right? Did you liked our beloved Nino turning artist? And now seems Aiba is confused huh? What will happen?

Thank you so much for all the support you give to us, if we are here today is all because of you, Our bug Thank You ♥


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